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10 Tips on Improving Your Intimacy (Whether You Are Close or Far From Your Loved Ones)

By Abyan Junus - Nishizawa

Intimacy Specialist

It’s been nearly 6 months since the world was affected by the pandemic. Some of us are stuck at home frustrated, others are separated long distances from their loved ones. How do we create intimate moments with our loved ones and reconnect with the people that matter to us in times of stress?

Most of the time, we feel frustrated, stuck and at times even bored in our daily routine in life especially when we have to share a confined space with our loved ones. Perhaps some of us are facing the opposite where we are instead miles apart from the people we care about due to lockdown situations in different countries. We could be spending hours on video calls to maintain the deep connection despite not being able to be physically there for each other.

So how do improve our intimate connection in such times? I myself am in a long distance relationship with my husband as we are currently in different countries due to his work. Here are 10 tips for you that I have found helpful in maintaining intimacy whether you are close or far from the ones you love.

For the ones who are too far apart:

1. Keep your online connection open. Always be available on your phone and do regular check-ins with each other.

2. If you are busy, do inform your partner that you may not be able to take calls in case there is an emergency and the need to contact you urgently.

3. Have more meaningful conversations. Don’t just talk about routine updates.

4. Don’t take each other for granted and express your love for each other openly.

5. Get creative and practice your virtual kisses!

For those who are too close to each other:

1. Have patience and acceptance of your partner, family members and of your current situation.

2. Try to create some personal space for yourself. You can rotate the use of shared spaces like living rooms or even put up a curtain or a temporary divider if you are in smaller spaces to create some privacy for yourself.

3. Schedule some me-time for yourself. You can go for walks on your own or do your daily errands outside (if allowed) and enjoy that alone time.

4. You can try solo activities at home such as meditation, journaling, watching a movie or listening to music on your personal device to help you tune out from your surrounding.

5. Create meaningful moments together during your meals. Put away all devices that would distract you from having meaningful conversations with your loved ones.

Most of the time conflict happens when we are feeling frustrated and trapped in our homes or situation. The first remedy to any problem that seems hopeless is to first find acceptance of the situation and then to get creative and express the pent-up energy in a positive way.

I hope the above tips are helpful for you. If you would like to learn more about how to create better intimacy and closer connection with yourself and others, please join me on the 5th of September for my signature workshop “The Art of Intimacy” with The Golden Space Indonesia. I look forward to share more learnings on how to create better intimacy in your life. See you in September!

Abyan Junus-Nishizawa

Intimacy Specialist

The Art of Intimacy



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